Old Habits
by Saralove33
Summary: A look into Sara's personal life. Bad habits, friendships and how she and grissom got together.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer and stuff.  
CSI is obviously not mine. The writers can write so much better than me.

THIS IS THE FIRST STORY IVE WRITTEN IN ABOUT A YEAR, so if my old fans are still out there.. gimme a shout! tell me how im doing

* * *

Old habits are hard to break.

That's what Sara kept telling herself every time she picked up a new case of beer. In a way, those words were comforting. They almost freed her of the guilty feeling she got every time she took a swig from a bottle.

Almost.

* * *

"Tell us what happened" Sara said in a soft voice. They had been interrogating the 16 year old stepdaughter of victim, Jerry Roberts, for the past two hours.  
Jim Brass sat impatiently beside Sara, glaring at the young girl.  
Julianna Roberts. Young, depressed and with a stereotypical hate of her parents.

"Just because you don't see any bruises on me, doesn't mean they didn't abuse me" Julianna whispered, avoiding Brass's intimidating gaze.

"You have no idea what it was like living with them. The screaming, yelling…name calling. You didn't have to be psychic to feel the hate in the atmosphere.And the way he looked at me? He was a disgusting pig. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I ran away."

Jerry had been found in his 2 bedroom condo, his throat slit and his eyes ripped out. The stepmother was nowhere to be found.

"Juli, all I need is for you to tell me where you were that night. Just tell me, and you can get out of here" Sara whispered. She didn't know why, but she felt pity for the young girl.

"I don't know! I told you I can't remember!" The girl had had enough. She was hysterical now. Standing up, she ripped her sleeves back revealing deep cuts all along her forearm.

"LOOK WHAT HE FUCKING MADE ME DO! JUST LOOK! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WENT THROUGH. YOU DON'T KNOW AND YOU'LL NEVER KNOW."

The security guard ran over to restrain her just as Brass pushed his chair away violently and stood up.  
"Don't try to pull this 'woe is me' bullshit on me, Juli. You're looking for attention, and you're not going to get it from anyone here. Stop wasting our time and just tell us what you know!"

Sara waited until the guard had escorted her from the room before facing Brass.

"What the HELL was that? Brass, that girl needs our help and making her feel worse about herself is not going to make her open up to us!"

Brass gave her a look of utter disbelief.  
"Oh, don't tell me you fell for that little routine? The cuts and the pity story were just a cry for attention. They always are."

Sara's face went dark. She wanted to scream at him; Just a cry for attention? If they were just for attention, why hadn't she showed anyone before this? How could he be so close minded?

Not trusting herself to be civil, she stormed out of the room leaving Brass alone and confused.


	2. Beauty in the Breakdown

Brass found her out behind the lab, sitting on a curb with her head in her hands.  
When she didn't reply to his pages, he set out to find her.

"Sara?" He said, cautiously.

She looked up and gave him a weak smile.  
"You found me"  
His heart broke at how exhausted she sounded. He had never seen her so weak. Over the past month, he had seen her suck on more than a fair share of cough drops. She was a fool to think he wouldn't notice. After all, he had before.

Carefully sitting down beside her, he focused his eyes on the same spot of parking lot she had been staring at.

"Want to tell me what's going on, kiddo?"

She put her head back down into her arms.

She didn't trust her voice enough to speak. Of course, she had felt like this many times before but never in front of people. She generally had enough control to wait until she got home before she broke down and cried.

His soft voice wasn't helping matters either. She wanted to cry now more than ever.

Realizing she wasn't going to talk, Brass pushed further.

"I noticed the cough drops again, Sara, and I don't think you have a cold.."

That was all it took.  
Brass felt her body shake beside him. He had never seen her cry before.  
Slipping his arm around her shoulders he pulled her close to him, resting his chin on her head.  
Her sobs got louder as she struggled to find the right words.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered between sobs. "I .. I …"

"You need some time off" Brass finished. She nodded. "I'll drive you home, and arrange for you to take a few weeks leave. I want you to go home and sleep, Ok?"

That was the last thing she wanted to do, but she nodded anyway.

He waited until her tears had dried before taking her to his car.

The ride to her place was silent. She stared miserably out the window, thinking up excuses so she wouldn't have to let him into her apartment.  
She didn't want him to see how messy she had let her place become. She was barely there anymore, now that her days consisted of working – the bar and a few hours of sleep.

Pulling up into her parking space, it was like he could read her mind.  
"You probably want to be alone right now. Don't worry. I won't follow you in."

Sara couldn't help but smile. Allowing herself one more moment of weakness, she reached over and gave him the biggest hug that her awkward position would allow.

"Take care, kid" he told her as she left his vehicle and ran to her apartment.

He sat in the driveway for a moment, not sure what to do.  
He couldn't help her, and he knew that. She wasn't planning on telling him what was going on.

Grissom could make her open up. Brass had heard about the times Sara had ran to him to cry.

Then it was decided. Brass was going to go to Grissom. He doubted Gris would need little persuasion to come to her aid.  
Someone had to.


End file.
